At the age of forty I found myself having to start a new life. Recently divorced after twenty years of marriage, children that had grown, and unsure how I would ever find love again. I married so young that I had actually never even dated before. My Daughter and Son, convinced me to give online dating a try. After looking at several website options, I settled on Match.com. The decision turned out to be the best ones I made in my life. Online dating is where I met my now husband Steven and found true love. The process of finding that special someone, however can be overwhelming at times. Here are some of my recommendations and things I learned through the process.
#1. Be Honest
There is no point in pretending that you’re someone else or try a create a profile you think will attract attention. In the long run, you will just be setting yourself up for disappointment. When setting up your profile, be honest. Explain a little about yourself, your hobbies, and things you enjoy. When selecting a photo, make sure it’s recent and clear. I must admit I took about a hundred photos of myself, before choosing a few. Be honest with yourself about what you’re looking for in a partner. It’s okay to narrow your search based upon the type of man you want to meet. I knew that I had already raised a family and was not looking for a man with small children. I felt really shallow for feeling this way, but as things turned out Steve was looking for the same thing.
You may find yourself communicating for several weeks through email, text or phone before deciding to meet. I found this was a good way to get to know more about the person and for them to learn more about me. Through these conversations you can also get a sense of the persons true intentions. Are they looking for a relationship or just a hook up? Now when I say be patience, I don’t mean wait forever to meet. This should be a red flag. If the person you are communicating with keeps putting off a date. This could mean the person you are talking to is not who they presented themselves to be online.
#3. Setting Up A Date.
Coffee…. I met Steve at a Waffle House. Yes, dare I say it…That was our first date. The reason I stuck with coffee was if the date was not going well or there was no connection, you wouldn’t be sitting through a long dinner. If there is a connection, you could always order food or set up another date. Something a little more romantic. You’re also going to be nervous and so will he, therefore drinking at a bar may not be the best idea. Go somewhere local and where you’re around other people. Always let someone know who you’ll meeting.
#4. Be Prepared To Be Shocked.. At Least Once
Where do I even start with this one? I had several men young enough to be by son contact me. Yes I was flattered but also confused.. These contacts were mostly men looking to score with an older woman. Not everyone you meet will be honest. Luckily for me, I was able to weed out the men just looking for an encounter, prior to actually meeting. This was usually discovered by texting.
#5. Be Kind
The man you’re meeting is putting himself out there the same way you are. You may not make a love connection, but there is no need to be mean or rude. Back to my suggestion of meeting for coffee..
#6. You’ll Know!
When I met Steve the first time I knew it was special. I felt it immediately. It was truly Love At First Site…
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